Joke: Not easy being a guy
Pity us men.........
If you put a woman on a pedestal and try to protect her from the rat race, you're a male chauvinist.
If you stay home and do the housework, you're a sissy.
If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
If you don't work enough, you're a good-for-nothing bum.
If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, this is exploitation.
If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your but and find something better.
If you get a promotion ahead of her, that is favoritism.
If she gets a job ahead of you, it's equal opportunity.
If you mention how nice she looks, it's sexual harassment.
If you keep quiet, it's male indifference.
If you cry, you're a wimp.
If you don't, you're an insensitive jerk.
If you thump her, it's wife bashing.
If she thumps you, it's self defense.
If you make a decision without consulting her, you're a chauvinist.
If she makes a decision without consulting you, she's a liberated woman.
If you ask her to do something she doesn't enjoy, that's domination.
If she asks you, it's a favor.
If you appreciate the female form and frilly underwear, you're a pervert.
If you don't, you're a fag.
If you like a woman to shave her legs and keep in shape, you're sexist.
If you don't, you're unromantic.
If you try to keep yourself in shape, you're vain.
If you don't, you're a slob.
If you buy her flowers, you're after something.
If you don't, you're not thoughtful.
If you're proud of your achievements, you're up on yourself.
If you don't, you're not ambitious.
If she has a headache, she's tired.
If you have a headache, you don't love her anymore.
If you want it too often, you're oversexed.
If you don't, there must be someone else.
---->
In the Dressing Room
Posted by
ronitvm
on Saturday, December 29, 2007
/
In the Dressing Room
by JamieB©
The phone rang and I picked it up. ""Hello?"
"You haven't called me," a sulky voice said. "Didn't you have fun?"
Shannon. Oh crap. "Yes, of course I had fun. I thought it was obvious."
"Then why haven't you called me?"
"Shannon,.it's, well it's complicated. It's not you or anything you did." I was conscious of the fact that I sounded like I was dumping her, which I most definitely was not. As if she was mine to dump in the first place. She was still married to Mike. The prick. I said, "Mike and I had sort of a falling out. I'd feel weird calling right now."
There was silence on the other end. "About what?"
"Look, Shannon it's complicated okay? It's guy stuff."
"Guy stuff huh?"
"Yeah," I said. "Did he mention anything?" The truth was, I didn't know what it was about. Mike and I had kind of been buddies and then he just stopped returning my calls.
She ignored my question. Her voice lowered and she said, "I want to see you again. I want to watch you again."
I closed my eyes and swallowed, thinking about her hand on my balls. "Shannon,"
"Please," she said softly. "I want to watch you strip for me and stroke that sexy cock. God, just thinking about it is making me wet."
Christ she was sexy. Fuck Mike, I thought. "We'll have to be sneaky this time."
She said, "Come shopping with me."
And I did.
We met at the mall, pretending it was a chance encounter. "Shannon?" I said, unable to hide my grin. "What are you doing here?" She had on a pair of shorts and sandals that made her legs look great, and a strappy tank top that did the same for the rest of her. Her hair was short and breezy and sexy.
"Oh my God heeeyyy!!" she said. "Shopping for a new pair of tights for kickboxing. How about you?"
I shrugged. "I need a couple pairs of jeans."
"Oooooh. Need any help picking them out?" And with that she took my hand and led me into a mall store specializing in the kind of clothes I like. We browsed, picking out three pairs of jeans and a jacket, and then headed to the fitting rooms. The sales girl hardly batted an eye when Shannon followed me into the dressing room.
Once inside, she was all business again, just like the first time. She sat down on the little bench. Her eyes had a hungry look and she whispered, "Strip. Do it slow this time. Tease me."
I tried, but it was a little awkward in the fitting room. It was small for one thing, and for another there was a full length mirror on the wall and I couldn't avoid seeing myself. By the time I was down to my boxers, I was laughing.
"What is it?" she asked.
I pointed to the mirror, grinning.
She looked at the mirror and smiled, motioning at my boxers. We both watched in the mirror as I slid them down my legs, my cock swollen and hard, jutting up towards the ceiling. "Oooohh" she cooed as looked at it, licking her lips. I let her look at it for a moment, and then gripped it at the base and began sliding my hand up and down, slowly, watching her in the mirror as she watched me. I stroked my cock for a little while, trying to get into it, but the mirror was distracting me.
She saw it, and said, "You need a little help?"
"Maybe," I said. "I thought you said no touching. No blowjobs."
"No," she said huskily. She hooked her thumbs in the waist of her shorts, her back still to me, still watching me in the mirror, and slide them down to her ankles, stepping out of them. She backed up towards me, still watching the mirror, and bent forwards at the waist slightly. Her ass was round and firm and perfect, right in front of me, creamy white with a dusting of fine blonde hairs across the tan skin of her exposed lower back. I groaned as I stroked my cock inches from the crack of her ass.
"How's that," she asked. "You like it?"
I moaned softly. "Yes."
She watched us, bent over even more. I could see her asshole now and part of her pussy, open and wet. She reached back and started to rub and caress the swollen, soft lips. Her breathing came faster. She could see me in the mirror, my eyes on her pussy as I stroked my hard cock. "You want to cum on my ass, don't you?" she breathed.
I moaned again, louder, nodding. What I really wanted was to shove my cock inside her, but if I did that I'd never see her again, I was sure.
She stopped suddenly, holding a finger to her lips. Then I heard it too, footsteps. The salesgirl. I stopped stroking, stopped breathing, but I couldn't take my eyes away from her ass.
There was a knock on the door. "Everything okay in there?"
I barely heard her. Unable to resist, I eased forward, and rubbed my cock, slick from precum, forward and slid it slowly along the crack of her ass. In the mirror I saw her close her eyes and bite her lip.
"We're fine," I managed. "Thank you." Shannon reached back between her legs as I slid my cock slowly between the cheeks of her ass, and grazed her fingernails along my balls.
As before, that touch did me in. I came, spraying cum across her ass cheeks in thick white ropes. The cum hit her skin and she arched, her eyes snapping open in the mirror and then rolling back as she came along with me. Both of us bit back cries of passion, but couldn't stop a gasp or moan as we shuddered together. Finally we both quieted. Shannon stood up.
"You guys?" came the voice from outside. "What's going on in there?"
We dressed quickly. I used one of the pair of jeans to wipe my cum off Shannon's ass, calling, "I don't think any of these are right."
"Okay, well just leave them in there and I'll take care of them later." Her footsteps faded and Shannon turned and kissed me deeply, her arms around my neck. I dropped the sticky jeans on the floor.
"You make me cum so hard," she whispered. You make me crazy. I'm crazy when I'm with you."
"And we haven't even fucked yet," I said, smiling.
"Yet."
----->
by JamieB©
The phone rang and I picked it up. ""Hello?"
"You haven't called me," a sulky voice said. "Didn't you have fun?"
Shannon. Oh crap. "Yes, of course I had fun. I thought it was obvious."
"Then why haven't you called me?"
"Shannon,.it's, well it's complicated. It's not you or anything you did." I was conscious of the fact that I sounded like I was dumping her, which I most definitely was not. As if she was mine to dump in the first place. She was still married to Mike. The prick. I said, "Mike and I had sort of a falling out. I'd feel weird calling right now."
There was silence on the other end. "About what?"
"Look, Shannon it's complicated okay? It's guy stuff."
"Guy stuff huh?"
"Yeah," I said. "Did he mention anything?" The truth was, I didn't know what it was about. Mike and I had kind of been buddies and then he just stopped returning my calls.
She ignored my question. Her voice lowered and she said, "I want to see you again. I want to watch you again."
I closed my eyes and swallowed, thinking about her hand on my balls. "Shannon,"
"Please," she said softly. "I want to watch you strip for me and stroke that sexy cock. God, just thinking about it is making me wet."
Christ she was sexy. Fuck Mike, I thought. "We'll have to be sneaky this time."
She said, "Come shopping with me."
And I did.
We met at the mall, pretending it was a chance encounter. "Shannon?" I said, unable to hide my grin. "What are you doing here?" She had on a pair of shorts and sandals that made her legs look great, and a strappy tank top that did the same for the rest of her. Her hair was short and breezy and sexy.
"Oh my God heeeyyy!!" she said. "Shopping for a new pair of tights for kickboxing. How about you?"
I shrugged. "I need a couple pairs of jeans."
"Oooooh. Need any help picking them out?" And with that she took my hand and led me into a mall store specializing in the kind of clothes I like. We browsed, picking out three pairs of jeans and a jacket, and then headed to the fitting rooms. The sales girl hardly batted an eye when Shannon followed me into the dressing room.
Once inside, she was all business again, just like the first time. She sat down on the little bench. Her eyes had a hungry look and she whispered, "Strip. Do it slow this time. Tease me."
I tried, but it was a little awkward in the fitting room. It was small for one thing, and for another there was a full length mirror on the wall and I couldn't avoid seeing myself. By the time I was down to my boxers, I was laughing.
"What is it?" she asked.
I pointed to the mirror, grinning.
She looked at the mirror and smiled, motioning at my boxers. We both watched in the mirror as I slid them down my legs, my cock swollen and hard, jutting up towards the ceiling. "Oooohh" she cooed as looked at it, licking her lips. I let her look at it for a moment, and then gripped it at the base and began sliding my hand up and down, slowly, watching her in the mirror as she watched me. I stroked my cock for a little while, trying to get into it, but the mirror was distracting me.
She saw it, and said, "You need a little help?"
"Maybe," I said. "I thought you said no touching. No blowjobs."
"No," she said huskily. She hooked her thumbs in the waist of her shorts, her back still to me, still watching me in the mirror, and slide them down to her ankles, stepping out of them. She backed up towards me, still watching the mirror, and bent forwards at the waist slightly. Her ass was round and firm and perfect, right in front of me, creamy white with a dusting of fine blonde hairs across the tan skin of her exposed lower back. I groaned as I stroked my cock inches from the crack of her ass.
"How's that," she asked. "You like it?"
I moaned softly. "Yes."
She watched us, bent over even more. I could see her asshole now and part of her pussy, open and wet. She reached back and started to rub and caress the swollen, soft lips. Her breathing came faster. She could see me in the mirror, my eyes on her pussy as I stroked my hard cock. "You want to cum on my ass, don't you?" she breathed.
I moaned again, louder, nodding. What I really wanted was to shove my cock inside her, but if I did that I'd never see her again, I was sure.
She stopped suddenly, holding a finger to her lips. Then I heard it too, footsteps. The salesgirl. I stopped stroking, stopped breathing, but I couldn't take my eyes away from her ass.
There was a knock on the door. "Everything okay in there?"
I barely heard her. Unable to resist, I eased forward, and rubbed my cock, slick from precum, forward and slid it slowly along the crack of her ass. In the mirror I saw her close her eyes and bite her lip.
"We're fine," I managed. "Thank you." Shannon reached back between her legs as I slid my cock slowly between the cheeks of her ass, and grazed her fingernails along my balls.
As before, that touch did me in. I came, spraying cum across her ass cheeks in thick white ropes. The cum hit her skin and she arched, her eyes snapping open in the mirror and then rolling back as she came along with me. Both of us bit back cries of passion, but couldn't stop a gasp or moan as we shuddered together. Finally we both quieted. Shannon stood up.
"You guys?" came the voice from outside. "What's going on in there?"
We dressed quickly. I used one of the pair of jeans to wipe my cum off Shannon's ass, calling, "I don't think any of these are right."
"Okay, well just leave them in there and I'll take care of them later." Her footsteps faded and Shannon turned and kissed me deeply, her arms around my neck. I dropped the sticky jeans on the floor.
"You make me cum so hard," she whispered. You make me crazy. I'm crazy when I'm with you."
"And we haven't even fucked yet," I said, smiling.
"Yet."
----->